I’m fifteen miles into the Quad Rock, a 25-mile trail race in the foothills outside of Fort Collins, Colo. For the past four hours, I’ve been zooming along well, ranging up and down the trails of this hilly course. I ran towards the front of the pack for the first part of the race, chatting amiably with a few of my fellow competitors and generally enjoying the sunshine and mountain views. I felt zippy on top of things, maybe even on pace to finish near the top of my age category.
At around the race’s midpoint the pack seemed to speed up as it crested a hill and followed some narrow singletrack along a creek. I was tired now, but I’d been hanging in there with this group and didn’t want to fall back. So I tightened up my focus and stayed right on the heels of a spry woman right at the front of the line, pushing myself like it was mile 25.
Now, though, as I run through a gully and cross a spring stream, all that effort has caught up to me. I look ahead to see the third massive climb of the run: another several thousand feet of ascent. As I ramble up the hill, it feels like all the power in my legs has somehow dissipated into nothingness. I slow to a plod, as I start getting passed.
Another mile in and I have to stop altogether. I pull off the trail and try to massage out some painful cramps in my quads. More runners pass, looking fresh, and my finishing place ticks downwards a step every few seconds.
I eventually hobble to the finish line, exhausted and spent. Once I get some chicken noodle soup and beer in me, I have moment to think back on my performance. I know, had I strategized a bit differently, I could have finished a bit higher. But what went wrong?
The problem, I realize, is that I ran someone else’s race, not my own. I had a race plan for the day, based on my own training and ability, but I got caught up in someone else’s race. I was too worried about keeping up with other people and where I would finish relative to them.
Instead, a better strategy would have been to focus on my own abilities and my own goals, and to listen carefully to my body and adjust accordingly throughout the race.
In other words, what I needed to do was to run my own race.
Running Your Own Race In Life
Running, of course, is just a metaphor for life. And in life, just as in running, it’s easy to get caught up in someone else’s race.
I felt this way when I left my nice secure job six years ago to start my own business. For several years, we struggled financially as I worked to build my client base. Other people my age were buying new cars and taking fancy vacations, and we were counting pennies and sweating over each dollar in our budget.
At the time, I felt I was doing something wrong. I was in my mid-40s and still stressing about where the next paycheck would come from. My other friends didn’t seem to have to worry about this.
What I realized, eventually, was that I was running other people’s races in my mind. I started my own company for a million reasons – because I didn’t want a boss, because I wanted to work from home, and because I wanted to create something myself. That was my passion. My goal was not to make a ton of money, but to embark on this new journey, and that’s what I was doing.
When I started to run my race, rather than someone else’s, I embraced the journey more. When we had to trim our budget, it wasn’t because I was failing, but because I’d decided that doing my own thing – even if it made less money – was a more important priority for me.
4 Tips For Running Your Own Race
We all have a tendency to run other people’s races and hook on to their goals and dreams. Here are some tips to keep ahold of yours – in running and in life:
1. Clearly Articulate Your Goals
Write out your goals, and be specific. Revisit them regularly and internalize them. The are yours, so own them.
2. Don’t Let Other People In Your Mind
Make sure goals are really yours, not someone else’s. Are you trying to finish a marathon because your best friend did? Are you trying to date someone because your parents think she’s perfect for you? Or are these goals coming from your heart?
3. Create Your Own Metrics For Success
What qualifies as success in your own race? Deciding ahead of time what is meaningful for you will help you avoid grabbing on to someone else’s metrics. Perhaps simply finishing that 100-miler or 10k is success, or perhaps it’s standing on the podium. Evaluate your performance according to your own metrics.
4. Be Willing To Adjust Goals As Necessary
In the Quad Rock, I failed to adjust my time goals, even when my I could feel my body needed a rest. When I started my company, I expected a salary similar to what I earned working for a larger company. Life happens – and we need to be flexible in how we think about our own journey and what is realistic and meaningful to achieve.
